One of Sydney's best friends is due to arrive home from her mission tomorrow!

This is Sydney's mom. One of Sydney's best friends is due to arrive home from her mission tomorrow! I have kept up with her through her blog posts, and wanted to share her last one. I am humbled and grateful to witness the blessed maturity and growth that these young souls go through as they live a 1 1/2 - 2yr "Lent on steroids" - giving up everything that is meaningful to them besides Christ and his gospel. They do not go out to baptize. They go to "pay back" a small portion of what they've been given, by proclaiming the good news of the Gospel to all who will listen.



BECCA'S FINAL UPDATE FROM HER MISSION...

The internet makes it possible for you to look up your house on an online map. By zooming out, you can see a whole neighborhood, but your own house looks smaller. The more you zoom out, the more you see how your little house fits in the picture of the state, the continent, the planet. But by that time, you are also convinced that your house is infinitely small. You can no longer see it. It is barely a cell in the whole mass of what you see.

Coming to the end of this week has made me think about my offering, about everything I covenanted to do, and made plans to do. There's always those thoughts... "I wish I had worked a little harder... appreciated everything more, given more!" But I think I did everything in my human capacity. Despite all my weaknesses, my natural selfishness and pride, I have spent a year and a half in the Lord's service. I kept all the commandments, I was obedient to the rules, and I overcame the natural man when I was tempted to put either aside. My offering, in the end, is just a widow's mite.
As a missionary, I have learned about the Savior's merits and Atonement. As that understanding has grown, my perspective has increased. I see just how completely and totally insignificant I am, and how tiny my impact is. Except that He, the Creator of everything, would call me important, and would pay an infinite cost for me.

I'm sure there are thousands of moments in the past year and a half, when I could have consecrated more my thoughts, focused more on my work, used time a little better, and had more courage when I testified of Christ. In my weakness, I have made millions of mistakes. I am infinitely far from my perfect potential as a daughter of God.

But in spite of all of that, I have seen many miracles. Obviously, they were nothing to do with what I did. But the Lord is merciful. He put up with me, worked the miracle of feeling my heart, and other's hearts become more converted to true discipleship and devotion to Jesus Christ.

Because of that, I can look back with "no regrets". Not because I never regretted anything... often it was corrective hindsight that helped me understand what I needed to do to improve. But I don't feel the sting of those mistakes anymore. I'm not harrowed up by my faults. I know that He was the source of all my blessings, and all my success all along. There is no "would have been". He was at the rudder all the time. My weakness was accounted for in His plans, and made up for in His sacrifice. The most extraordinary miracle of my mission has been, and is the Atonement of Jesus Christ. That the knowledge of my own "nothingness" can coexist in my heart with peace, and a blazing hope that one day I will account to my Lord face to face.



I am so grateful for my missionary experience.