Two things you need to know to appreciate this post: 1)
Every missionary updates their mission president each week (Sydney does it by
email). 2) Sydney loves her companion D. Shimai (Shimai=Sister) and has been
dreading losing her as D. Shimai's mission comes to a close. Here are excerpts
from 2 of her emails to her mission president as D. Shimai got ready to
transfer home.
(To be read with dry humor. And no, this is definitely not
the way missionaries usually speak to their mission presidents. Apparently
Sydney has her own style.)
First letter:
Dear Kaichou [Mission President],
It's getting real.
If I don't get D.Shimai in prison soon, she will be gone forever. It'll be tough, but I've come up with a few minor offences that could do the trick. I'll just need a tube of vegimite, a barbie doll, and the east-west train to Saidaiji.
If I don't get D.Shimai in prison soon, she will be gone forever. It'll be tough, but I've come up with a few minor offences that could do the trick. I'll just need a tube of vegimite, a barbie doll, and the east-west train to Saidaiji.
Next letter:
Dear Kaichou [Mission President],
I see that the transfer announcements mention that D.Shimai is going home, and while I don't approve of false witness, I agree that it is probably best that the rest of the mission remain unaware that she will be spending the next three years in prison.
On my end, I apologize for the delay. I haven't executed my plan yet, but I have a good excuse for it-- D.Shimai is still receiving presents from the members. I don't know how good the food is in jail, and it's better to be safe than sorry.
As I've read the scriptures more, I discovered that jailtime is perfectly in line with my goal to be like Ammon [a famous missionary]. I myself may consider enjoying a short period of incarceration so I can catch up on my scripture reading, as it is not quite up to the level I was hoping for. However, everything else is going well. All our investigators are fine with being taught through bars and the ward has agreed to throw an occasional "Jailhouse Rock", featuring Y.Chourou as Elvis Presley. We hope to find some new investigators. At the very least, we'll have a captive audience.
That is all I have to report. I'll be sure to fit Mission Standards for my mugshot.
I see that the transfer announcements mention that D.Shimai is going home, and while I don't approve of false witness, I agree that it is probably best that the rest of the mission remain unaware that she will be spending the next three years in prison.
On my end, I apologize for the delay. I haven't executed my plan yet, but I have a good excuse for it-- D.Shimai is still receiving presents from the members. I don't know how good the food is in jail, and it's better to be safe than sorry.
As I've read the scriptures more, I discovered that jailtime is perfectly in line with my goal to be like Ammon [a famous missionary]. I myself may consider enjoying a short period of incarceration so I can catch up on my scripture reading, as it is not quite up to the level I was hoping for. However, everything else is going well. All our investigators are fine with being taught through bars and the ward has agreed to throw an occasional "Jailhouse Rock", featuring Y.Chourou as Elvis Presley. We hope to find some new investigators. At the very least, we'll have a captive audience.
That is all I have to report. I'll be sure to fit Mission Standards for my mugshot.
So, for those of you who know Sydney well, you will be
thrilled to see that she's still the same funny, wonderful, creative person
she's always been. I love this kid. And P.S., her mission president LOVES her,
too. :)
Enjoy reading your posts. Take care Sydney
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